Ribbing Massachusets
by Farorefox on Nov 4, 2009 6:17 PM EST
13 comments
I stole this from a website. Yeah I'm a Dolphins fan, but I couldn't resist
Hi, it’s Jimmy Football here!
Nobody likes being stuck watching the ugly shit the Browns and the Bills call football. 6-3? What is that? That’s awful!
[Shot of audience members wincing]
So what if we all just did drugs instead?
[Audience looks intrigued]
Introducing the Bud Light Attack Pipe! It’s a crack pipe! In team colors! The police won’t suspect a thing!
Generic Fans in Parking Lot: We’re totally strung out and everybody’s cool with it! I don’t even care that this game blows!
STA-STAMP! Tailgate approved!
Say! You know what’s worse than having John Fox as your coach?
[Audience looks puzzled]
Having Jim Zorn as your coach!
[Audience erupts in laughter]
That’s why our team of scientists developed this – introducing the Bud Light Sherman Lewis!
[Audience stares in disbelief]
It doesn’t solve anything!
STA-STAMP! Tailgate approved!
Hey! Nobody likes having to listen to Boston fans get all melodramatic after one loss! What a bunch of crybabies!
[Audience looks exhausted]
Well, worry no longer. Introducing the Bud Light Bitchblade. It’s a switchblade you use on those Boston bitches.
[Shot of someone gleefully stabbing a person in a Red Sox hat]
One simple motion does all the work!
STAB! WHOOOOOAAAAA! Tailgate approved!
You know what really steams me sometimes?
[Audience puzzled again]
When people complain about the quality of the advertisements during football games.
[Audience nods knowingly]
Jimmy Football’s just trying to earn a living. We all can’t have jobs where we’re charmingly wry and funny. Sometimes we just have to get the goddamn message across and move some product. It’s called hustling. Sor-fucking-ry if this sponsor, who by the way is responsible for bringing you free football on TV, can’t make an entertaining ad. So we came up with this. Introducing the Bud Light TV Couch. You sit on it real nice and you shut your fucking yap while Jimmy is trying to make a sale.
Audience: TAILGATE TESTED!
Jimmy: Tailgate Approved!
DUH-NUH-DUH-NUHHHH DUH-NUH-DA!-DA!
The views expressed in these FanPosts are not necessarily those of the writers or SBNation.
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Ribbing Massachusetts???
For a small state, it’s waaaay too big a target.
Keep the faith!
by Marima on Nov 4, 2009 8:11 PM EST reply actions 0 recs
Wow
There is nothing in this that is even close to funny.
fail
Remember kid, there's heroes and there's legends. Heroes get remembered but legends never die, follow your heart kid, and you'll never go wrong. - The Babe, The Sandlot
by Celtic on Nov 5, 2009 4:31 PM EST reply actions 0 recs
Ah, a Pats/Celtics/Red Sox fan.
I was wondering how long it would take.
Head Weatherman/ Injury Specialist of the Phinsider.
Bender: Who wants dolphin? Leela: Dolphin? But dolphins are intelligent. Bender: Not this one. He blew all his money on instant lottery tickets.
by Farorefox on Nov 5, 2009 5:43 PM EST up reply actions 0 recs
You're missing the point
I could care less if you want to make fun of my teams, my city/state, or even me, just at the very least be funny. Again, there is nothing funny here, not that complicated.
Remember kid, there's heroes and there's legends. Heroes get remembered but legends never die, follow your heart kid, and you'll never go wrong. - The Babe, The Sandlot
by Celtic on Nov 9, 2009 6:41 PM EST up reply actions 0 recs
If you have a problem with that maybe you should take that up with Mr. Laser.
Head Weatherman/ Injury Specialist of the Phinsider.
Bender: Who wants dolphin? Leela: Dolphin? But dolphins are intelligent. Bender: Not this one. He blew all his money on instant lottery tickets.
by Farorefox on Nov 6, 2009 7:03 PM EST up reply actions 0 recs
It's got drugs and stabbings
Ho ho ha ha. A true masterpiece
by BigRedDog42 on Nov 5, 2009 5:54 PM EST reply actions 0 recs
MaPatsFan, how many flags have been raised on this post?
Head Weatherman/ Injury Specialist of the Phinsider.
Bender: Who wants dolphin? Leela: Dolphin? But dolphins are intelligent. Bender: Not this one. He blew all his money on instant lottery tickets.
by Farorefox on Nov 5, 2009 6:39 PM EST reply actions 0 recs
He's the only one with power to pull a post
and give a warning, but he’s been called away for a bit
Keep the faith!
by Marima on Nov 5, 2009 7:01 PM EST up reply actions 0 recs
Dunna dunna dunna dunna MaPatsFan!
The content isn’t all that insulting. It’s actually worse by just not being funny. Not even a semi-redeeming touch of humour.
OH DE STABBING IS TEH FUNNIEZ.
Token southern hemisphere guy - 14,688km from Foxboro. That's 9128 miles, for you heathens.
by Comedic.Sans on Nov 5, 2009 7:19 PM EST up reply actions 0 recs
Oh Comic, don't be a gooey chocolate chip cookie
Head Weatherman/ Injury Specialist of the Phinsider.
Bender: Who wants dolphin? Leela: Dolphin? But dolphins are intelligent. Bender: Not this one. He blew all his money on instant lottery tickets.
by Farorefox on Nov 5, 2009 7:27 PM EST up reply actions 0 recs
In a random aside...
The Cookie Monster got killed by the PC police. He’s now the Cookies-Are-A-Sometimes-Food Monster. And I’m not kidding.
Fighting childhood obesity one blue television puppet character at a time.
Token southern hemisphere guy - 14,688km from Foxboro. That's 9128 miles, for you heathens.
by Comedic.Sans on Nov 5, 2009 7:38 PM EST up reply actions 0 recs
say it aint so!
sigh. Well, I don’t suffer from childhood obesity so a cookie sounds pretty darn good right about now. Especially a ‘gooey chocolate chip’ one…
Keep the faith!
by Marima on Nov 5, 2009 8:09 PM EST up reply actions 0 recs
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