FanPost

What would Tom Brady do?

First, I'd like to give a shout out to the Pats from here in Oregon. Ten years here and I haven't lost my accent or love for New England sports.

Now, I'd like to share with you a little problem I've been having, and welcome any advice.

For the last month or so, I've been applying a standard to most of life's choices and dilemmas. When faced with a decision, I now ask what would Tom Brady do?

I can't even begin to describe how much my life has improved since then. I now make the correct decision about 68.7% of the time - a huge improvement!

The problem I have now is that my girlfriend claims I'm driving her crazy when all I'm doing is trying to improve her. She thinks I'm being mean when I comment on some of her imperfections and inefficiencies. She claims I'm getting worse when in fact I'm actually getting better at spotting problems.

She's been saying negative things about Tom Brady and the the Pats in general. I have a spray bottle that I use on her at these times, but lately I think a bar of soap for her mouth and a confession is more in order - she gets nasty.

She has an even better looking sister who always flirts with me. Tom Brady would probably have her fitted for a Patriots jersey pretty soon, so I will too. Then I'll see how she does in tryouts.

Is anyone else having difficulties with new-found higher standards since the Pats have been on a romp?

The views expressed in these FanPosts are not necessarily those of the writers or SBNation.

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