FanPost

Christmas Carols, Patriots style

Offered in the spirit of the season, with a Patriots-style twist.

Enjoy as you're opening your presents tomorrow morning.

GRONK the Tank-Sized Tight End (to the tune of "Rudolph")

GRO-ONK* the tank-sized tight end had a pair of great big paws;

And if you ever saw him, you would even swear "He grows!"

All of the other skill guys used to laugh and call him names;

They never let poor GRO-ONK join in any wideout games.

Then one wintry Blitzburgh eve, Brady came to say,

"GRO-ONK with your feet so light, won't you catch my throws tonight?"

Then how the three Smurfs loved him, as they shouted out with glee:

"GRO-ONK the tank-sized tight end, you'll go down in history!"

*Anybody who wants to argue that GRONK doesn't get to be a two-syllable word here can take it up with the tank.

 

DECK the WALLS

Deck the walls with weekly pictures, fa la la la la, la la la la.

Now that we've been named the victors, fa la la la la, la la la la.

Each one shows a brilliant moment, fa la la la la, la la la la.

When a Patriot dealt out torment, fa la la la la, la la la la.

 

Take the latest, shining entry, fa la la la la, la la la la.

From a GIllette cold and wintry, fa la la la la, la la la la.

Of our right guard, stiff arm ready, fa la la la la, la la la la.

After that run, he's light-heady, fa la la la la, la la la la.

 

SAME OLD JETS (To "Jingle Bells")

Licking through the toes,

In a YouTube vid—no way!

To the field he goes,

Snacking all the way!

Guts on Rexy fling,

Two tons's way too light;

What fun it is to laugh and sing

A JEST-ing song tonight!

 

Oh, same old Jets, same old Jets, failing every day!

Oh, what fun it is to watch, a train wreck every play!

 

"Sanchize" is no star,

He can't throw all that far;

And classy LaDy T

Was full of misery.

The defense ain't that hot,

Misfortune seemed their lot;

They get smurfed and GRONKED all day,

Then Brady makes them pay!

 

Oh, same old Jets, same old Jets, failing every day!

Oh, what fun it is to watch, a train wreck every play!

The views expressed in these FanPosts are not necessarily those of the writers or SBNation.

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