Seven Deadly Sins, applied to football teams

by Mainiac on Jan 18, 2011 10:56 AM EST

This is just a silly thing I came up with and was amused by to distract myself from the impending 'worst AFC championship game ever'. Let me know if you like it or not.

Basically, I applied the seven sins to a football team, trying to use teams that are currently or generally 'competitive' in the league, as to not kick anyone who's down. I applied one to the Pats to be fair. Obviously I'm taking low blows here, but all in good fun. Check it out below the jump.

1. Pride - New York Jets.

The Jets blustering arrogance starts with Rex Ryan and permeates the team. They refuse to respect their opponents, and are either cocky winners, or sore losers.

2. Wrath - New England Patriots.

The Pats, never having gotten over their embarrassment of the spygate scandal, seek to punish the league and humiliate those who speak against them. They execute a cold precision, and cut players mercilessly who do not fit their schemes.

3. Lust - Pittsburgh Steelers

Do I need to say more than Ben Rothlisberger? This can also tie into, however, the vomit-inducing worship of the 70s Steel Curtain.

4. Sloth - San Diego Chargers

The Chargers are classic procrastinators, rarely looking alive when things are not on the line. They are a great team on paper, but their inability to get moving comes back to haunt them.

5. Envy - Baltimore Ravens

Not only do they stew at being constantly overridden by the Steelers, but they see every loss as an injustice against them. Calls are only ever against them, never for them, and it's JUST NOT FAIR!!!

6. Greed- Dallas Cowboys

Jerry Jones and crew demand and expect status as their right. Their quest for 'the best' constantly undercuts them as they take what is shiny, and not what is valuable.

7. Gluttony - Indianapolis Colts

The Colts just can't get enough. Never enough wins, never enough advertisements, never enough respect etc. They gorge themselves during the good years, and whine the minute you start to remove their plates. Probably a symptom of being so pathetic before their rise, like the starving man who will eat himself to death.

The views expressed in these FanPosts are not necessarily those of the writers or SBNation.

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Comments

Interesting assessment, and perhaps even a glimmer of truth.

My life has been a trivial pursuit. Trivia: where three roads meet.
The more you know, the more you know that you don't know.
Official Fire-Puncher for Pats Pulpit an SB Nation Blog

by SlotMachinePlayer on Jan 18, 2011 11:22 AM EST reply actions

I agreed for the most part

I wanted to argue with the Wrath one, but then I realized it was a bit telling that the Patriots fan would dispute the only point that shines unfavorably on my team.

by 108 on Jan 18, 2011 11:47 AM EST reply actions

#7 is probably accurate with regards to us fans.

and perhaps Polian.

Nice job.

"I throw, you catch. It's NOT that hard!"
Peyton Manning, SNL, 2007

by peytonsthebest on Jan 18, 2011 2:18 PM EST reply actions

Nice. There's definitely some truth to it.

"When they should be throwing to the cutoff man, they are reading Men's Health for ab workout tips. When they should be sacrifice bunting, they are buying effeminate designer jeans. When they should be fouling off pitches, they are masturbating. Always, they are masturbating."

"God I'm excited for those two to fail miserably." - SBNation writer Andrew Sharp on Josh McDaniels and Tim Tebow.

by Tempestuous Binary on Jan 18, 2011 4:41 PM EST reply actions

Too bad there aren't more sins

So that you could get a few more teams involved (Eagles, Bears, Giants, etc.). A fun read. :)

by 808BostonSportsFan on Jan 18, 2011 4:55 PM EST reply actions

Seven's plenty.

My life has been a trivial pursuit. Trivia: where three roads meet.
The more you know, the more you know that you don't know.
Official Fire-Puncher for Pats Pulpit an SB Nation Blog

by SlotMachinePlayer on Jan 18, 2011 6:03 PM EST up reply actions

1.- See media for game v Steelers.

5. Any team that doesn’t think they are getting targeted by refs for unfair calls. Are teams paying off the refs. =)

And the home of the .... JETS!!!
Now lets get a G-D snack!!!

by Noble_Lance on Jan 19, 2011 2:58 PM EST reply actions

One week pregame does not wash away two years of it.

as much as you would like it to. It also backfired on them. The Jets went away from what they normally do, and they came out flat. Well, that and also they were spent after the New England game.
Also, I have seen many fairly officiated games, as well as inconsistent games, as well as hose jobs. But, most teams/fans realize, it all even out in the end, except for Ravens fans and Raiders fans. Now, Raiders fans may have a beef. Conspiracy minded individuals who follow the Raiders definitely have a beef. The Ravens, on the other hand, have a culture of whining and refusing to accept losses at face value. Every team at one point or another has a call go against them that’s questionable, but with them it’s a constant chorus of victimhood.

by furiousd on Jan 26, 2011 9:56 PM EST up reply actions