The Ballad of Hoodie and Albert

Standing on the field at the Razor,

Trying to beat the Giants perchance.

The man wearing 10 said, "We've got a tight end".

You know they didn't even give us a chance.

Christ you know it ain't easy,

You know how hard it can be.

The way things are going

They're going to crucify me.

Finally cut Albert the whale,

Tuesday morning it was a fact.

Sergio Brown called to say,

"I should have made that big play,

I know I can shut down the Plax".

Christ you know it ain't easy,

You know how hard it can be.

The way things are going

They're going to crucify me.

From Boston to the Meadowlands Hilton,

Taking tons of crap for a week.

The newspapers said, "Why not start Gunga Din?"

I said, "We're only trying to get us a win".

Christ you know it ain't easy,

You know how hard it can be.

The way things are going

They're going to crucify me.

Saving up your draft picks for a rainy day,

Giving all your safeties to charity.

Last night the news said,

"Oh boy, when Brady's dead

You don't take nothing with you

But your rings - think!"

Signed a lightning man in Tiquan,

Underwood that's not deviled ham.

The newspapers said, "We need Ghengis Kahn,

You look just like the pathetic Rams".

Christ you know it ain't easy,

You know how hard it can be.

The way things are going

They're going to crucify me.

Caught the late plane back to Boston.

Ron Borges can dine on my sack.

The men from the press said, "You've had no success,

You need another defensive back".

Christ you know it ain't easy,

You know how hard it can be.

The way things are going

They're going to crucify me.

The way things are going

They're going to crucify me.

Bonus Track...

We're so sorry, Fat Albert, 

We're so sorry if we caused you any pain. 

We're so sorry, Fat Albert, 

But there's no one staying home 

And our linebackers all have knee sprains.

We're so sorry, Fat Albert. 

We're so sorry but you got pancaked, all day. 

We're so sorry, Fat Albert. 

But if Brace should break his leg well be sure to give a ring. 

We're so sorry, Fat Albert, 

But you haven't done a bloody thing all game. 

We're so sorry, Fat Albert, 

But we have the Jets this week and don't want to get blown away.