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Fan Notes from the Game

Coffee. I need coffee.

That was one helluva start for the New England Patriots. A little slow out of the gate defensively, but the offense looked phenomenal and the Pats marched to a convincing win to open up the 2011 campaign. I was somehow able to take some notes in between swigs of Rolling Rock (the official beer of the Alec Shane 1-Man Patriots Viewing Party), which I reviewed this morning.

If you ever want to laugh at yourself, take notes on a game after a beer or ten and then read them the next morning. Yikes.

But what the hey, right? We're all friends here. I took these notes; I may as well share them. So the formula for today's article is a Patriots game, a lot of beer, and the nonsense that follows.

Star-divide

  • Danny Woodhead should be required to stand next to Nate Solder in the huddle at all times. It's a sight we will probably never see again in our lifetime as NFL fans.
  • That said - more no-huddle please. Man was that fun to watch.
  • New England's ability to adjust defensively impressed me. Henne looked clinical on that first drive, but Bill Belichick is a master of making adjustments, and Miami had a much more difficult time moving the ball after that first drive.
  • In fact, Miami's only other touchdown (when it still mattered) came off of the interception which gave the Phins an extremely short field. The Pats D was relatively stout, and while there is definitely room for improvement, I think it was a good first showing.
  • One of the things to improve on: New England gave up more big plays than I would have liked to see. Hoping to see that corrected before the San Diego Chargers come to town.
  • Miami is going to have a decent season.
  • Chad Henne deserves an apology from any Miami fan who was calling for Orton in the preseason.
  • There's no way Reggie Bush makes it though a whole year if the Dolphins keep using him like that. He isn't a between the tackles kind of runner.
  • Maybe it's just me - but does anyone else think that Tony Sparano is an absolute riot? Every time the camera cut to that guy last night, I started cracking up. He's just so damn animated. The man looks like an aging backup dancer from the musical Grease who is trying to make a second career as a football coach.
  • So much for the question marks about the offensive line. Nate Solder's dominance over Cameron Wake was so complete that towards the end of the game I almost expected Solder to just get Wake in a headlock and start giving him noogies.
  • Get well soon, Dan Koppen. Hope you're back out there ASAP.
  • I love Julian Edelman's heart and toughness- but I can't help but feel like he tries to take every play to the house, sometimes putting the safety of the ball at risk. As he continues to develop as a receiver, he needs to learn that sometimes the best play he can make is to cover up the ball and just dive for the first down.
  • Chad Ochocinco is going to get a lot of flak for not getting a whole lot of action in this game - but give him some time. Down the stretch when the games start to really matter, Ocho will be ready.
  • Aaron Hernandez is filthy.
  • Rob Gronkowski is filthy.
  • I debated drafting neither Hernandez nor Gronkowski in any of my fantasy drafts, thinking that either one of them could be hot at any time. I ended up drafting Hernandez in one and Gronk in the other - and I think I'm gonna be juuuuuust fine.
  • I didn't see as much blitzing from Jerod Mayo as I thought I was going to. I'm attributing that to the threat that Reggie Bush brings out of the backfield and Mayo's primary responsibility for this game was to spy the RB and patrol the under routes. Hopefully Belichick can start incorporating Mayo into some more blitz packages down the stretch.
  • First complaint of the season from my neighbor downstairs: 5:48 left in the 4th quarter after the goal-line stand. Second complaint of the season from my neighbor downstairs: 5:47 left in the 4th quarter when Brady connected to Wes Welker to ice the game. If I don't have an eviction notice on my door by the end of the season, I did something wrong.
  • How great is Jon Gruden? Was that an S word I heard after the Brandon Marshall incompletion that brought up 4th and 10? Yes it was! He later apologized for it, but the damage was done. For shame, coach. For shame.
  • A desperate, pleading note to Tommy B - please, PLEASE stop with the Uggs commercials. You have plenty of money. You're a first ballot Hall of Famer. Your wife is smoking hot. You don't need to do this anymore.
  • That said -Tom Brady is still and always will be my perennial mancrush. And after Monday night's performance, I may be straight up in love.
  • BUT: if he don't treat me right, Rob Gronkowski is now waiting in the wings.
  • Which brings me to my final point: I'm going to be in the stands for the home opener this Sunday, and before I get kicked out and arrested for disorderly conduct, my goal is to plant the seed at Gillette Stadium that grows into the mighty, mighty oak that will be forever known as "The Gronk:" a cheer all the fans break out every time Rob Gronkowski makes a play. My initial thoughts:
    1. Stomp Stomp "GRONK!" Stomp Stomp (Hard to coordinate, but pretty bad ass if it works)
    2. The Fog Horn: The whole stadium erupts with a  "GROOOOOO - ooonnnnnk! GROOOOOO - ooonnnnnk! GROOOOOO - oonnnnk!"
    3. The Train Conductor: "GROOOOOONK! GRO-GRO-GROOOOONK! while pulling an imaginary train whistle.

      I'm not married to any of these ideas, so I'd love to hear your suggestions.

Great game overall - always good to start the season off with a W. It's only Week 1, so it's important to temper expectations and not read too much into things - but this is a great momentum builder that I'm hoping we can bring into the home opener next week.

Here's to the first of a very long string of hung-over Mondays and Tuesdays. Ugh.

Comment 49 comments  |  2 recs  | 

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I just assumed it was Gruden

"If you know how to cheat, start now." - Earl Weaver

by rebop on Sep 13, 2011 12:48 PM EDT up reply actions  

I swear it still sounds like Gruden

I know Jaws owned up, but I’m not 100% convinced.

Token southern hemisphere guy - 14,688km from Foxboro. That's 9128 miles, for you heathens.
Contributing Writer at PatsPulpit

by Comedic.Sans on Sep 15, 2011 5:22 AM EDT up reply actions  

Tom is the man! Gronk and Hernandez are becoming my favorite people, Welker is still underrated!

I may catch heat for saying this but watching espn I like Eric Mangini he seems like a cool dude.
Ohh and Ninkovich did work last night, ya’ll not giving him love.

by businessbmw on Sep 13, 2011 11:01 AM EDT reply actions  

Mangini can coach.

He’s just a rat bastard.

"Perhaps it was the Noid who should have avoided me." Mayor Adam West

by ISN on Sep 13, 2011 11:47 AM EDT up reply actions   1 recs

Just disorderly conduct?

I’m going for that, and inappropriate conduct.

Shoving you around is part of the game. Quit crying.

by DelShady on Sep 13, 2011 11:02 AM EDT reply actions  

The Vollmer-Woodhead picture is so funny

We were all laughing at that every time they were shown together getting into the huddle. Hilarious.

The potty mouth belonged to Jaws (despite everyone in my house last night insisting it was Gruden. It was JAWS! I WAS RIGHT!) Another moment of hilarity.

The little-engine-that-could Wes Welker completed the trifecta, as he huffed and puffed all the way down to the end zone on those tiny legs after stiff-arming that mean old defender to the ground.

I rode Hernandez and Welker to fantasy victory!

Go with the fog horn or the foot-stomp. Great game-day assignment.

Keep the faith!

by Marima on Sep 13, 2011 11:05 AM EDT reply actions  

Yeah it was Jaws. Outside of Mike Tirico, I can’t stand the MNF booth crew. Jaws has never won anything, but he knows everything about being a qb. And Jon Gruden tore apart the team that won him a Super Bowl. He hasn’t won anything since. But he too knows everything about football. So go figure. That was Solder standing next to Danny (great name).

by Patriots12 on Sep 13, 2011 1:59 PM EDT up reply actions  

I know Jaws owned up to it, but I STILL think it's Gruden.

Token southern hemisphere guy - 14,688km from Foxboro. That's 9128 miles, for you heathens.
Contributing Writer at PatsPulpit

by Comedic.Sans on Sep 15, 2011 5:23 AM EDT up reply actions  

>There’s no way Reggie Bush makes it though a whole year if the Dolphins keep using him like that. He isn’t a between the tackles kind of runner.

I seem to also recall Reggie being most effective doing lots of sweeps in NO. I would have him biased his runs towards sweeps instead of running up the middle also especially against Patriots.

by prioris on Sep 13, 2011 11:36 AM EDT reply actions  

Yeah, they didn't utilize him very creatively last night

but the problem for them was that the Phins had their bigger back out for the game with an injury, and have no depth at RB. I mean, they signed Larry Johnson! I assume once their bigger back comes back, he will take the bigger load of straight carries. If not, Bush will be IR’d by November.

by furiousd on Sep 13, 2011 3:14 PM EDT up reply actions  

and scored

Hey President Brady, Can you sign my Son ?

by BostonBeasts on Sep 13, 2011 11:43 AM EDT up reply actions  

You scored, or Welker did?

Because if you scored while doing twelve backflips, you’re doing it wrong.

Token southern hemisphere guy - 14,688km from Foxboro. That's 9128 miles, for you heathens.
Contributing Writer at PatsPulpit

by Comedic.Sans on Sep 15, 2011 5:24 AM EDT up reply actions  

Or very, very well.

Token southern hemisphere guy - 14,688km from Foxboro. That's 9128 miles, for you heathens.
Contributing Writer at PatsPulpit

by Comedic.Sans on Sep 15, 2011 5:24 AM EDT up reply actions  

The Ugg commercial was good.

Or perhaps not as bad as it could have been.

Maybe it’s just because it’s a local company here, but all the flak he’s gotten is because everyone thinks they just make the boots (called, unsurprisingly, uggboots – we’re an original lot). They’re a sheepskin leather company, fir crissakes.

"Perhaps it was the Noid who should have avoided me." Mayor Adam West

by ISN on Sep 13, 2011 11:46 AM EDT reply actions  

So long as

They don’t give Tom any lines, his commercials are fine.

Best to avoid any ‘cut that meat’ scenarios

"These players, a lot of other people didn't believe in them, but they believe in themselves. And that is all that matters."- Bill Belichick

by Mainiac on Sep 13, 2011 12:54 PM EDT up reply actions  

Absolutely.

"Perhaps it was the Noid who should have avoided me." Mayor Adam West

by ISN on Sep 13, 2011 1:01 PM EDT up reply actions  

I like Edelman as a returner and he looks exciting on field since he tries to turn every return into a TD but he should call for a fair catch, touchback or fall to ground when there are so many opposing jerseys around him. He takes lots of chances in risking injury or possible fumbles.

by prioris on Sep 13, 2011 11:54 AM EDT reply actions  

I love him in there,

but there was that one punt(or kickoff?) that he caught on the goal line, and made a very bad decision to catch it, let alone bring it out. I’m sure BB will light into him for that one, and probably won’t happen again.

by furiousd on Sep 13, 2011 3:17 PM EDT up reply actions  

It was a punt...

It’s okay to catch a kickoff on the goal line, but it’s a lot less dangerous to just let a punt go.

"If you know how to cheat, start now." - Earl Weaver

by rebop on Sep 13, 2011 3:38 PM EDT up reply actions  

i just choked at work.

"There's no place like it, and it's ours." - Stephen King on Fenway Park

by 808BostonSportsFan on Sep 13, 2011 3:36 PM EDT up reply actions  

I just heard a bunch of little voices singing, "Hi Ho, Hi Ho, it's off to work we go...."

The more you know, the more you know that you don't know.
Some people can learn from the mistakes of others, while some people need to pee on the electric fence themselves.
My life has been a trivial pursuit. Trivia: where three roads meet.

by SlotMachinePlayer on Sep 13, 2011 3:50 PM EDT up reply actions  

THAT is hilarious.

by kim.000 on Sep 13, 2011 5:06 PM EDT up reply actions  

Aww, they let the little guy play, too...

Token southern hemisphere guy - 14,688km from Foxboro. That's 9128 miles, for you heathens.
Contributing Writer at PatsPulpit

by Comedic.Sans on Sep 15, 2011 5:26 AM EDT up reply actions  

GRONK CALL

Have another beer and you will come up with a great GRONK CALL…….LOL

by PVS53 on Sep 13, 2011 3:02 PM EDT reply actions  

A vulnerable moment...

Am the only one who hears “Gronk” and thinks of Morgoth’s Hammer of the Underworld from Tolkein?

/nerdshame

"Laser show. So relax."
Theo Epstein as a mortician: "These corpses have a tremendous opportunity to respond."

by nuthinboutnuthin on Sep 13, 2011 3:39 PM EDT reply actions  

nerds are fans too

My sister and a friend were arguing what the robot’s name was from the old TV series “Lost in Space” during half-time. Yours at least was Patriots-related.

Keep the faith!

by Marima on Sep 13, 2011 3:59 PM EDT up reply actions  

this is a safe place.

"There's no place like it, and it's ours." - Stephen King on Fenway Park

by 808BostonSportsFan on Sep 13, 2011 4:38 PM EDT up reply actions  

lol

"Perhaps it was the Noid who should have avoided me." Mayor Adam West

by ISN on Sep 14, 2011 1:19 AM EDT up reply actions  

That’s cool. Grond the hammer of the underworld. :D

by Patriots12 on Sep 13, 2011 7:24 PM EDT up reply actions  

You are among friends.

We don’t judge.

Well … maybe just a little. I wuz thinking ‘GRONK more evocative of the roar of Durin’s Bane …

NBA Officiating - Corrupt? Incompetent? Which is worse? Does it matter? It sucks.

by mmmmm on Sep 14, 2011 10:12 AM EDT up reply actions  

Speaking of something that could make the game more fan friendly is having something like a loud gavel

sound after each Benny TD. And after or before that, have a LAAAAAAAW FIIIIIIIIIIRM chant being replayed over the speakers. Just a thought.

In GOD I TRUST>In BB i trust......faith where it belongs!!
Life is about who makes it, not who makes it the fastest! Drive slow homie.

by PatNation85 on Sep 13, 2011 4:30 PM EDT reply actions  

I was thinking that, but it maybe to quick for the fans to notice, even if its played as loud as possible.

In GOD I TRUST>In BB i trust......faith where it belongs!!
Life is about who makes it, not who makes it the fastest! Drive slow homie.

by PatNation85 on Sep 14, 2011 12:25 AM EDT up reply actions  

Love the Stomp idea

It reminds me of a French rugby player (Sebastien Chabal) : every time he comes to the field (or makes a hit) the crowd goes crazy and you can clearly hear “Chabaaaaal” with a beastly voice. Well, as beastly as a crowd can get, anyway…

by Lythos on Sep 13, 2011 4:41 PM EDT reply actions  

They looked terrible against Wales.

Wouldn’t shock me if Fiji won this game.

"Perhaps it was the Noid who should have avoided me." Mayor Adam West

by ISN on Sep 15, 2011 5:52 AM EDT up reply actions  

What weirds me out is that the South African fans were happy with that performance

WTF?

Token southern hemisphere guy - 14,688km from Foxboro. That's 9128 miles, for you heathens.
Contributing Writer at PatsPulpit

by Comedic.Sans on Sep 16, 2011 8:01 AM EDT up reply actions  

+1 vote for the "Gronk Stomp" idea.

NBA Officiating - Corrupt? Incompetent? Which is worse? Does it matter? It sucks.

by mmmmm on Sep 14, 2011 10:13 AM EDT reply actions  

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