1. Kansas City Chiefs – Geno Smith, QB, WVU

Compared to the other QBs in this draft Smith doesn't look horrible. Besides, the natives are restless. No pun intended.

2. Jacksonville Jaguars – Bjoern Werner, DE, Florida State

He's such a safe pick. An immediate upgrade and future leader on that D.

3. Oakland Raiders – Star Lotulelei, NT/DT, Utah

He's going to be a star even if he's playing in the Black Hole. No puns intended.

4. Philadelphia Eagles – Luke Joeckel, OT, Texas A&M

BPAAAPON.

5. Detroit Lions – Dee Milliner, CB, Alabama

The Lions bet they can find a pass-rusher in the early-2nd or early-3rd round of the draft, and they're probably right. They need someone capable of dealing with Brandon Marshall.

6. Cleveland Browns – Jarvis Jones, DE/OLB, Georgia

Michael Lombardi is not drafting a QB here. Besides, Ryan Mallett got drafted two yearsd ago.

7. Arizona Cardinals – Some Guy, QB,Some School Not Named "WVU"

Don't ask me who the 2nd-best QB is in this class. Not now anyways. We'll need the Combine for some serious help here.

8. Buffalo Bills – Damontre Moore, DE/OLB, Texas A&M

A very good compliment to Mario Williams, and he'll like having those two DTs working the interior. With Mark Anderson coming in on 3rd down, the Bills finally have that invincible DLine that we talked so much about before the regular season began.

9. New York Jets – TRADE. Yup, Tannebaum definitely left the building.
The Cards pass on the next-best OT to blatantly reach for a QB. Chicago won’t miss their chance for the steady riser, and give up their 2nd rounder plus their 2014 2nd-round pick to trade up from #20:
Chicago Bears: Eric Fisher, OT, Central Michigan

Chicago goes OLine? Who saw that coming?

10. Tennessee Titans – Chance Warmack, G, Alabama

Chris Johnson will be a happy man.

11. San Diego Chargers – Johnthan Banks, CB, Mississippi State

Fisher is off the board so they look at another need. Quinton Jammer has a cool name that we should be used to by now. The reason for that is how long he has played in the league. Chargers are going to need more talent in the secondary if they want to contend with Peyton Manning.

12. Miami Dolphins – Keenan Allen, WR, California

Miami goes for a WR? Who saw that coming?

13. Tampa Bay Buccaneers – Xavier Rhodes, CB, Florida State

TB goes for a CB? Shocking.

14. Carolina Panthers – Sheldon Richardson, DT, Missouri

Carolina goes for a DT? Who saw that coming?

15. New Orleans Saints – Dion Jordan, DE/OLB, Oregon

He won't cost half as much as Will Smith and can play 34OLB.

16. St. Louis Rams – Jonathan Cooper, G, UNC

St. Louis goes for OLine? Who saw that coming?

17. Pittsburgh Steelers – Barkevious Mingo, DE/OLB, LSU

They need to start thinking post-Harrison.

18. Dallas Cowboys – Johnathan Jenkins, DT/NT, Georgia

Cowboys go for a NT. Don't act surprised.

19. New York Giants – Ezekiel Ansah, DE, BYU

New York takes an athletic freak of nature? Of course.

20. New York Jets - Kenny Vaccaro, S, Texas

BPAAAPON. With two picks in the 2nd round the Jets will be able to find the BPAs left on day 2. What are the positons of need for New York? Pretty much everything, really.

21. Cincinnati Bengals - Alex Olgetree, LB, Georgia

Olgetree and Vontaze Burfict are the future at LBer for Cincinnati.

22. St. Louis Rams, from Washington Redskins - Eric Reid, S, LSU

A OG and a S for the Rams. Who saw that coming?

23. Minnesota Vikings - Cordarrelle Patterson, WR, Tennessee

Adrian Peterson, Matt Kalil, Kyle Rudolph, Cordarrelle Patterson, and Matt Ponder. That's progress.

24. Indianapolis Colts - Jessie Williams, DT/NT, Alabama

Colts rebuilt much of their O in recent years. Now they start rebuilding themselves into a 34D.

25. Seattle Seahawks - Sam Montgomery, DE, LSU
Carroll stops his slide. Bruce Irvin can go back to being a situational-rusher and Chris Clemonts has some help.

26. Green Bay Packers - Tyler Eifert, TE, Notre Dame

Quick, what are his initials? Jermichael Finley should get nervous.

27. Houston Texans - Arthur Brown, LB, Kansas State

The Texans were exposed at LBer after Cushing went down. They need more talent to compliment the leader of their front-7(no disrespect to Watt) and they get it.

28. Denver Broncos - Manti Te'o, LB, Notre Dame

It's Te'o or Kevin Minter out of LSU. They figure Te'o has fallen enough, and get the guy they're going to love having between Woodyard and Miller.

29. New England Patriots - TRADE.

Kurt Warner called up Arizona and made it clear; "if you want to give that kid a chance, give him a Tackle." The Cards trade up to grab up a guy that's simply not going to fall to them, and might not even make it out of the 1st round. They give New England their 4th and 5th round picks to go along with their pick in the early-2nd.

Arizona Cardinals - Lane Johnson, OT, Oklahoma

Did you see D'Anthony Batiste play? The Cards hope Johnson and Massie become the future fixtures at either Tackle spot.

30. Atlanta Falcons - Alex Okafor, DE/OLB, Texas

They really really really need some help at the edges.

31. San Francisco 49ers - Shariff Floyd, DT/DE, Florida

Did you see what happened to the Niners-D when Justin Smith went down?

32. Baltimore Ravens - Kevin Minter, LB, LSU

Do they go

for a LBer to make up for the loss of Lewis or a Center to make up for the probable-loss of Birk? It could go either way.