When I made the bet, I thought to myself, "Gee, this is a really good deal. If I win, Greg has to find a way to explain in 250 words why the Jets are amazing, which is no easy feat. But if I win, I only have to explain why the Patriots are great, which is easy, because they are."
So I am here before you today, to remind you of how amazing your team is, and how lucky you are, as fans, to be able to watch them. Last night, your team punted more times than got first downs, and yet you still won. Want to know why? Because you've got Tom Brady. Brady makes those clutch drives seemingly every game. Last week, it was for the go-ahead score. This time, it was his first drive, which made all the difference.
Every time Brady drops back to pass, I immediately assume it's going for six. I immediately assume the worst (for us), even when Brady is off, and the Jet defense is stifling, because that's who Brady is. He makes magic out of nothing. He's like Tim Tebow, if Tebow could read defenses, threw an accurate ball, stopped being mobile, and started making babies with Giselle Bundchen.
I may not like Brady, but I sure as hell respect him.