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Patriots most desperate need

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I'm going to attempt my best Bill imitation. Hold on, this is either going to be hilarious or go up in flames and you guys will have to put me out with a fire extinguisher. Here we go:

Reporter: Coach Belichick?

Belichick: Humph.

Reporter: How was the combine? Did you see any talent that interested you?

Belichick: Some good, talented kids. Question remains if they can play at an NFL level.

Reporter: Anyone in particular?

Belichick: A few looked good. We need to determine if they'll fit the system.

Reporter: How about Malcolm Jenkins?

Belichick: Smart kid. Athletic, strong, fast. Can play corner and safety. Likes to watch film and has potential in all 3 phases of the game.

The reporter, wearing flipflops and a "Life is Good" ball cap...backwards...is flipping through his NFL terms dictionary, wondering what "3 phases of the game" means.

Reporter: Coach, give me something; I'm dying here!!

Belichick: (smiling) Jenkins would be valuable when we switch from a standard 3-4 and adopt our speed package. Malcolm has the skills to jump in as a dime or nickel back in obvious spread offense situations and can assist the OLBs in closing the edges...

The reporter's ears are now ringing and he can't focus. He's starting to see double and he's hallucinating Belichick eating fellow reporters. He's starting to mumble and can't stand up anymore...