Patriots 2009: What would Norm and Cliff say?

Your remember Cheers, right?  The sitcom that took place in a mythical Boston bar called Cheers?  Every true Bostonian knows the bar is actually called Bull and Finch, but that's beside the point.  The show mostly circled around owner Ted Danson and his love life, particularly with the flighty Shelley Long, but I thought Norm and Cliff were a hoot.  So in my best Norm and Cliff imitation, let's talk about our favorite team, the New England Patriots.

Norm: Hey Cliff (burp).  Whaddya think about the Pats this season?

Cliff: Ehhrrraaahh, Tommy Brayyddee bettah get his byutocks in gear, know wadimean?

Norm: No Cliff, I don't.

Cliff: Well, he's been too busy making googlie eyes at that model there.  He's gotta concentrate.

Norm: I think he's professional enough to pull this off, Cliff.  I mean, the guy's got three rings, right?

Cliff: Ok.  But what about outside linebackah?  I mean, what was Billie thinkin'?

Norm: He probably knows what he's doing.  Besides, we got Adalius Thomas, Pierre Woods, Tully Banta-Cain and that dude with the long arms, Shawn Crable.  We're good.

Cliff: Well, then why the heck wuz Billie Boy so hot on Jason Taylah, huh?  I mean, the guys a pass rushing DE?

Norm: In Bill We Trust, Cliff.  I mean, (whispering) don't question Belichick too much.  You'll end up in a trash barrel on Comm Ave.

Cliff: I once dated a girl on Comm Ave.  She...ohhh.  Gotcha.

Norm: Besides, we're all set with Brandon Meriweather and James Sanders.  Tank Williams will be good in nickel and dime packages.  And that new guy, Patrick Chung, looks good, too.

Cliff: It's a good thing we got those guys aftah we lost Rodney Harrison.  I mean, he was the haht and soul of that there defense.

Norm: Don't forget Randy Moss and Wes Welker have two years in the system.  And we just picked up Joey Galloway and Greg Lewis, too.

Cliff: That there...ahhh...Welkah.  Did you see that vicious hit by that Steeler Ryan Clahk?  I mean, little Wes almost became paht of the terf!!  He got up, though.  He's one tough...

Norm: Easy.  This is a family show.  Let's not forget Laurence Maroney.  Fred Taylor is going to get him jumpstarted.

Cliff: Man, "Fast Freddy" is gonna ROCK!  I can't wait to see him hit the field in a Patriots uniform.

Norm: Whaddya think?  Brady spanks more than 50 TD's and Moss more than 23?

Cliff: Woody!  I need another brewskie.