clock menu more-arrow no yes mobile

Filed under:

Football for Dummies - You might be a Homer if ....

[Editor's note:  If you are looking for a serious football article, keep looking.]

Many people seem to be throwing around the Homer label lately.  I'm a Homer, your a Homer, wouldn't you like to be a Homer too?  I tried to come up with a good definition of a Homer as it pertains to a football fan.  Many people have their own ideas, but it quickly degenerates into examples of Homers.  With that, the idea for this story was born (or rather emerged half-baked). 

Some of you may know Jeff Foxworthy from the popular TV show "Are you smarter than a fifth grader?".   It's the show where they ask simple elementary school questions from such categories as "First grade Amortization Tables", "Second grade Differential Equations", "Third grade History of Law among Eastern Germanic Tribes",  "Fourth Grade Quantum Mechanics", and "Fifth grade Astrophysics".  You get to chose your own little idiot-savant buddy from a group of kids at Einstein Elementary who let you know that they know all of the answers and they get their underwear at K-Mart, definitely

Before Jeff Foxworthy made his money emabarrasing people for a living, he was spouting lines like  "If only one car out of ten on your front lawn actually runs, you might be a redneck."  Fortunately for me, one out of nine ran, so I was all good.  Anyway, as the "Homer" label gets thrown around, I thought it might be good to borrow the line from good Mr. Foxworthy to help people decide if they are Homers.  It's the absolute least I could do.  Believe me, I checked. 

If your team just set a record by going 0-16 and you wear that as a badge of pride (the only record they ever set), you might be a homer.

 Lions_20still_20believe_medium via

If your team has sucked for the past [insert number here] years, shows no signs of improving, and you still say this is your year, you might be a homer.

 Eric-mangini-lions-browns_medium via

If the kicker (or any other player) on your arch-rival's team sucks, but he's great when he's on your team, you might be a homer.

 Clutchposter-1_medium_medium via

If you're still chanting, "Just win, Baby!", and dressing like this even though Al Davis still owns the franchise, you might be a homer.

 63371240786942raiders-fans_medium via

 If the quarterback you were raised to hate suddenly became the starting quarterback on your team and you were good with that, you might be a homer.

 Favre-jersey_medium via

If your quarterback just threw a pick in the Super Bowl and yet you blame the loss on your defense, you might be a homer.


If you walked around in a stupor for a week after a certain helmet catch, you might be a homer.

 David-tyree-catch_medium via

If you yell, "Who Dat?" when there is nobody there, you might be a homer.

4057671518_c073b96f64_medium via

If you think the six rings your team's earned are your own personal jewelry, you might be a homer.

 Steelers-sixburgh1_medium via

Those are mine, now let's hear yours.