clock menu more-arrow no yes mobile

Filed under:

Pack it Up, Chargers Win the Super Bowl

Sometimes the future can't be changed.

Andy Lyons

If you can't read this with a grain of salt, please abandon this article as soon as possible. If you can handle your cookies, please keep your arms and legs inside the vehicle at all times. Inspired by indy pats fan in this thread.

---

I've looked into the future and it appears to be bleak for the league. People tune in week after week because any given Sunday. This might be the week my team wins. This could be the time they reach to the mountain top.

No more. The league is now predictable.

Here are the teams remaining in the playoffs

Broncos, Patriots, Colts, Chargers, Seahawks, Panthers, 49ers, Saints

For the last decade, the Super Bowl Champion has either been the New England Patriots, or played the Patriots.

Broncos, Patriots, Colts [pending], Panthers, Saints

The NFC representative has played the AFC East every season since 2006.

Panthers, Saints

The past three Super Bowl Champions have lost to the Redskins in the season they've won the Super Bowl (per Paul Swanson).

Chargers

The past four Super Bowl Champions have played against the Eagles for Philadelphia's home opener.

Chargers

In order for the prophecy to come true, the Chargers must play the Patriots.

The Patriots will beat the Colts, if only to be a pawn for the cruel mistress of Fate. The Chargers will beat the Broncos. Sell your homes and worldly possessions and call your local bookie. There's only one way this post-season plays out.

The Chargers win the AFC as the team of destiny. They'll play the Saints or the Panthers (my money's on the Panthers being triumphant in a New Orleans vs Carolina NFC Championship bout). The Chargers will win the Super Bowl.

There's nothing we can do as fans, except watch the inevitable. The cards will fall and Phillip Rivers will rain fire from the sky.