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It's Worse Than We Thought! The Patriots Season Exposed!

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There was an off-season change on the staff, but it was like nothing we ever imagined!

Brady: "So like who is who again?"
Brady: "So like who is who again?"
Greg M. Cooper-USA TODAY Sports

Based on the less than stellar performance this season, I decided to do some in depth analysis on the Patriots by re-watching all four games to date.  After all, in depth analysis is my forte.

EDITOR"S NOTE:  SMP's forte is NOT in depth analysis.  We haven't identified any real strengths in in his "work", we don't know why he is here, and we have yet to understand how he has access to the Front Page.  Rest assured, Security has been notified.

I want to add that the signs have been out there all the time and we should have seen them.  I should have seen them.  Did anyone notice the players sliding around on the field last Monday Night?  It's a sign.  Did anyone notice Brady looking lost on the sideline?  It's a sign.  Did anyone notice Josh McDaniel's Hoodie impression when he went to Denver?  It's a sign.  Did anyone see Bill Belichick in a pirate's costume?  It's a sign.  Has anyone noticed how often BB's coaches get poached by other teams?  It's a sign.  The most telling evidence of what has been happening this year didn't come from the field.  It came from the sideline, and it's shocking!

I want to point out that one of the staples of a Bill Belichick coached team is misdirection.  Misdirection on offense keeps the defense guessing.  Is it a run or a pass?  The formation tells you nothing.  Misdirection on defense keeps the QB guessing.  Is Vince Wilfork REALLY dropping into coverage?  Where did my receiver go?  Brady probable with a shoulder?  Misdirection.  Bring in Tim Tebow for a look?  Misdirection.  It is what it is?  Misdirection.  Now we know it is what it ISN'T.

In a case of misdirection gone wild, Belichick's staff is pushing it to the extreme.  Notice how Belichick no longer wears a cutoff hoodie, but McDaniels does?  Do you really think Belichick would be caught dead without that hoodie?

Bill Belichick has every member of his staff disguised as a completely different member of the staff.  It's true!  Why would he do something like that?  To keep his staff together.  Scar and Pepper were the final straw.  If someone decides to poach a coach from Hoodie, they'll get a completely different coach in their place.  You want Matt Patricia?  You get Steve Belichick.  That's just the way it is.  Even the equipment manager has been swapped for the guy that cuts the grass on the practice fields.  Oh, and that guy didn't even know football shoes even NEEDED cleats!

The list is far from complete, but this is what I've been able to piece together so far along with some quotes picked up on the sidelines:

HC Bill Belichick - played by Scott O'Brien - special teams coach, no wonder that unit has been so stellar.

OC Josh McDaniels - played by Bill Belichick - head coach and defensive mastermind, "Vereen up the gut five times?  The defense will never see it coming."

DC Matt Patricia - played by Steve Belichick - Coaching Assistent, "3 + 4 = 4 + 3, What's the difference?"

OLC Dave DeGuglielmo - played by Ivan Fears - Running Backs Coach, "Holes!  We need holes in the line that you can drive a semi through!"

CBC Josh Boyer - played by Josh McDaniels - Offensive Coordinator / Quarterbacks coach, "You gotta give those receivers a fair chance to catch the ball out there.  Back off!"

WRC Chad O'Shea - played by Dave DeGuglielmo - Offensive Line Coach, "I think we can get by with like three receivers as long as we can activate more offensive linemen in their place!"

I really just didn't see this coming, but it explains a lot.  I don't know what this means for the season going forward.  Maybe with this exposé, it will force the Patriots coaching staff to revert back to their original roles.  Maybe it will just cause them to shuffle again.  I really just don't know.  As fans, though, you have a right to know.