"He's Gronk," said Lions slot receiver Jeremy Ross, to Detroit News. "The name fits him. He's just this guy who's this meathead dude who goes in and catches the ball and just makes plays.
"He's like, 'I'm Gronk. I'm going to get in there, I'm going to throw people off me, I'm going to score and do whatever I can to make plays. And that's what he does."
Personally, I think that's a pretty good description of Gronk, although Gronk might think that's generous. After scoring the backbreaking touchdown against the Colts, the "effervescent" tight end (descriptor from My Mother Belichick) was caught on tape with the following explanation for his ridiculous run.
"I don’t even know how I did that," Gronkowski said on the sideline. "I juked, like, five people- I have no clue. I told [Aaron Dobson] he’s gonna see something I’ve never done before in my life this game- that I don’t even know that I could do. Then he goes, 'Wow, you just did it.'"
When asked about trying to stop Gronk, Lions free safety Glover Quin could only point to the entire defense.
"It's a team effort. Everybody chips in. Obviously, when we get him in situations where he's having to block, our defensive ends, we've got to rough him up. When we get him in situations where he catches the ball, we've got to make sure we're hitting him. When we've got him in situations where we're covering him, we've got to make sure we're covering him."
Everyone has to pay attention to Gronk because that's the type of player that Gronk has become. Ross, Dobson, and, yes, Gronk himself all share in the same beautiful wonder that is Rob Gronkowski. You can't talk about Gronk without putting on a- to borrow from Ross- meathead voice. He loves the game and the game continues to hit him in the mouth. And then Gronk keeps on loving.
In the spirit of the week, I asked everyone to describe Gronk in the Gronkiest of terms.
Quick: in fewer than 20 words, please explain Rob Gronkowski— Rich Hill (@PP_Rich_Hill) November 21, 2014
Here are the results.
First the e-mails...
My Rob Gronkowski haiku:
Good at the football,
A quintessential meathead:
He is called The Gronk
-Caroline, NYC, future doctor
Golden retriever turned human.
Golden human turned retriever.
(editor's note: I can't think of a better combination than these two.)
Gronk should be an adjective in the dictionary: "You got Gronked!" Or "let's get Gronked." Nobody Gronks like him.
The most complete player and biggest matchup nightmare in the entire NFL.
Stud on the field, and ABSOLUTE BRO off the field.
...then the Party...
@PP_Rich_Hill yo soy fiesta— (@HailtotheHoodie) November 21, 2014
@PP_Rich_Hill yo soy fiesta.— (@DJ_Wynne) November 21, 2014
YO SOY FIESTA RT @PP_Rich_Hill: Quick: in fewer than 20 words, please explain Rob Gronkowski.— (@mgeoffriau) November 21, 2014
@PP_Rich_Hill Yo Soy Fiesta— (@FrankStein855) November 21, 2014
@PP_Rich_Hill yo soy fiesta— (@imjom) November 21, 2014
@PP_Rich_Hill see ball catch ball spike party repeat— (@kevrich77) November 21, 2014
"I threw him out of the club." vine.co/v/O5UhiLXEbeZ RT @PP_Rich_Hill: Quick: in fewer than 20 words, please explain Rob Gronkowski.— (@GrahamBarfield) November 21, 2014
@PP_Rich_Hill The life of the party, also the bouncer at the party! lol— (@fearthe_beard15) November 21, 2014
@PP_Rich_Hill freak beast hulk deer Andre the giant !— (@sullymike2) November 21, 2014
Created to destroy, accidentally given the heart of a child. RT @PP_Rich_Hill: Quick: in fewer than 20 words, please explain Rob Gronkowski.— (@RumfordJohnny) November 21, 2014
@PP_Rich_Hill Half man, half beast, half party. #gronktalk— (@CollinsMikael) November 21, 2014
@PP_Rich_Hill Gronk is Zeus's 21st century spirit animal.— (@AverageJoe1993) November 21, 2014
@PP_Rich_Hill The Incredible Hulk combined with whatever ingredient gave us the Powerpuff Girls— (@LGelevator) November 21, 2014
...and the Ballplayer.
@PP_Rich_Hill The world's answer to J.J. Watt?— (@CGK21) November 21, 2014
Unstoppable. A man playing schoolyard ball with kids. RT @PP_Rich_Hill: Quick: in fewer than 20 words, please explain Rob Gronkowski.— (@G3niusRj) November 21, 2014
@PP_Rich_Hill GOAT— (@JoshCollacchi) November 21, 2014
Gronk is one half football player, one half beast, one half meathead, and one half party. He is a creation from a lab that was built to destroy.
He doesn't know why he does the things he does; he just does them. He's a headache for opponents and a complete nuisances for defensive coordinators. He can take over games and and completely dominate the league.
Gronk does what Gronk wants. He loves this game and he's going to force everyone else to love it as much as he does- and if not, then he'll throw you out of the club.