Usually when I say to myself, "it was worth every penny" after I blow a wad of money on something stupid, it's only a few hundred dollars and all I have to show for it is a funny hat or a cell phone video of one of my friends cleaning up a pretty horrible mess. But when you're Rob Gronkowski, you can rest easy knowing that the money you're about to throw away is well spent on a play that is likely to go down in history.
Gronk was recently fined $8,268 for his block on Sergio Brown, which sent the former Patriot off the field, through the turf, and into the ground with nothing but a Sergio-shaped hole left for us to remember him by. How exactly the NFL arrived at such an odd number is anybody's guess, but here are a few theories:
- One dollar for every foot Sergio Brown was shoved back
- Gronk is required to pay for the therapist Sergio is going to need before he takes the field again, which comes out to exactly $8,268.00
- One dollar for the number of bench press reps Gronk can do
- One dollar for every word Bill Belichick has said to a member of the media in his 40 year career
- Gronk wears number 87. Sergio Brown wears 38. 87+38 is 125. The numbers 1, 2, and 5 are significant, as in a slightly different order they represent the number of 1st downs Gronk has generated in his career - 215. Delving further into the stats, Gronk also has 51 total touchdowns, which is the sum of the date of Sergio Brown's release from the Patriots added up (8/31/12). 215+125+51 comes out to 391, which added to Gronk's career yardage total of 3,989 comes out to 4,380. Since there were two men on the play in question, we double that to get 8,760. Now we take away Gronk's weight (265) and Brown's weight (218) and we come up with 8,277. But Gronk has nine total touchdowns this year; subtract nine from that number and what do we get? 8,268. Coincidence?
- The NFL asked Gronk what his fine should be, and he just giggled and said "69 dollars." So the NFL decided to pick a number that in no way could be turned around and made into a joke.
Well worth it, Gronk. Well worth it.