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We are the Arbiters of Morality

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How dare the Patriots sully the good name and fortune of the football pitch.

Robert Hanashiro-USA TODAY Sports

It's time we had a chat about the ghastly showings of Tom Brady and Bill Belichick.

Football has always been a sacred event for our Sunday viewings and I fear that they're ruining it for everyone.

I'm sure I'm not the only one who has had to hide the metaphorical eyes and ears of the children when Brady is on screen because you can be certain that he will corrupt their youth. Brady is like Socrates in a sense; watching him makes you question everything, and in the end he should probably just drink the hemlock.

You see it when he throws an interception. Expletive deleted.

You see it when the other team scores. Expletive deleted.

You see it when the Patriots score. Expletive deleted.

You see it when they show the cheerleaders on the sideline, or the advertisements for beer in the stadium, or whenever Rob Gronkowski has the nerve to spike the football and it all comes back to Brady's uncouth displays. Expletive deleted, deleted, deleted.

The sanctity of football culture is tarnished every time Brady brings his abhorrent "potty language" onto the field and it needs to change.

But of course, we all know that this starts with the coach. Bill Belichick and his ways will never change; he grimaces in the face of the sport while waggling his finger in its face. Brady is what Belichick wishes and that's a monster on the field.

We've seen Belichick berate referees for small miscues for multiple weeks in a row- mistaking 11 players for 12 is a common mistake Bill; not everyone can graduate from the rival of the best high school in the country- and that sense of arrogantly-arrogant arrogance is synonymous with Belichick these days.

The nerve to have moderate expectations for competence and to yell at those who come up short.

It's time that we as Patriots fans take a stand. We want the players to be the choir boys that Brady is so determined not to be. We want our players to earn the spotlight, but not revel in it. We want them to be fiery champions, but not hotheads. We have our expectations that they behave in a certain way off the field than on it- why can't that extend to the sidelines, too?

When NBC and CBS linger on Brady cursing on the sideline, I fully support other outlets questioning Brady for cursing on television- and how dare Brady blame the television stations! He should follow the good and well behaved Peyton Manning or Eli Manning and just make a face instead.

I don't think it's too much to ask as fans of the sport. Whenever Brady or Belichick opens their mouth on the field, all that comes out contaminates their teammates and the sportsmen that take pride in their wholesome approach.

I feel like we have to take these players from Plato's cave and introduce them to the goodness and truth.

And then have them politely annihilate the other team on the field.