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The Best and Worst Patriots Valentines

Roses are red, violets are blue, be ready for a pay cut, I hate you I hate you

Mark J. Rebilas-USA TODAY Sports

Tis the season for love and romance and chocolates and flowers and romantic comedies and fancy dinners and I'm currently alone eating a chipotle chicken and provolone cheese cold cut sandwich watching Netflix and I'm really lonely. Girlfriend Belichick is not in town right now. I'm in my pajamas. It's no longer appropriate to be in my pajamas.

But at least this Valentine's Day has been better that some of the relationships the Patriots have been in over the past few season (nice segue).

Remember when Bill Belichick broke up with Lawyer Milloy in 2003? The family certainly hated him afterwards and the Patriots lost their season opener in shocking fashion to Milloy himself.

The player who took his place, Rodney Harrison, was part of a much healthier relationship for New England.

Or maybe the courtship for Adalius Thomas in 2007? Thomas was a former Raven, a do-everything linebacker who helped the team finish their regular season undefeated. He broke his arm in 2008, and in 2009 he famously called out Belichick for benching him, after Thomas wasn't performing. "This isn't kindergarten," Thomas declared. His tantrum proved otherwise.

Over that same time, the Randy Moss relationship was a beauty to behold. Moss was the belle of the ball, until he didn't receive the contract extension he wanted prior to the 2010 season. Belichick spurned Moss in the middle of the year and traded him away in favor of old fling Deion Branch. Typical Bill.

Wes Welker, the side piece during the Moss years, actually turned out to be the more stable of partners for Tom Brady over the years, but even that relationship fell apart after 2012. Welker left Brady for his main rival Peyton Manning, which is totally a high school move, Wes.

2011 was a rough year for the Patriots. Albert Haynesworth and Chad Ochocinco were both picked up for peanuts on the dollar; the moves were universally lauded. Even though the Patriots made the Super Bowl, Haynesworth was released in November. Ochocinco was his least productive ever. Belichick couldn't handle them at their worst, so he never got to see them at their best.

Of course, the story ends with a happy closing chapter. After sending away long time beau Logan Mankins, Belichick, Brady, and Vince Wilfork found their missing piece in Darrelle Revis. All the Patriots can do is hope that Revis wasn't a one-season-stand and that he's committed to a long term relationship.

This sandwich tastes like sadness.