clock menu more-arrow no yes

Filed under:

Tom Brady is Harry Potter

New, comments

And yes, Bill Belichick is Hermione.

Mark J. Rebilas-USA TODAY Sports

Disclaimer: If you don't care for Harry Potter, this is not the post for you. There will be spoilers.

There was once a boy who lived. He was selected by prophecy, destined to square off against the evil that tortured the world. He came from humble beginnings and pulled from beneath a cupboard to save the world.

Tom Brady received his letter of admittance to Hogwarts from Robert Krumbledore. Brady wasn't a household name for us muggles, but it was clear that this was the best decision that the Patriots organization has ever made.

The story begins in Harry Potter and the Sorcerors (née Philosopher's) Stone, where our hero first enter Hogwarts as a wide eyed youth. There were no expectations. The story is care free, an introduction to magic and a world of the unknown. Harry Potter is living a charmed existence, making the Quidditch team and showing an athletic ability that know one had seen. He was eventually thrown into a series of challenges, before prevailing in the final challenge against Voldemort.

This was how Brady was welcomed into the football world. He was thrust onto the largest stage, woefully unprepared, and with the help of Bill Belichick (played by Emma Watson), able to do just enough to be victorious at the end of the day. This was 2001.

Chamber of Secrets and Prisoner of Azkaban follow similar trajectories, as stories of growth and transcendence into the mainstream. Some dislike Harry Potter and that's completely fair- it's not for everyone. Some of the characters seem evil for the sake of being evil, like Draco Malfoy, Harry's oafish nemesis, and his henchmen Crabbe and Goyle, likely from Miami, Buffalo, and New York, respectively- but in reality, they're fairly inconsequential to these stories. It's the big fish at the end of the stories that remain the focus.

Over this time, the formula remained the same: there's a disruption and it's up to Harry and his friends to make it right. And he always did. The general tones of these stories are the same, where the outcome is never in doubt. Harry will save the day and everything will be okay. This is 2003 and 2004.

All is well, everything is perfect. The reality of the future struggles couldn't be imagined at this point, but the ease of these stories makes the future struggles all the more painful.

In Goblet of Fire, the Triwizard Tournament takes place, where Harry is put through a gauntlet of challenges. In fact, it starts unwillingly, after his name is cast into the goblet. All the other underaged wizards were trying to put their name in the goblet, but only the Patriots Harry got in trouble. Whatever.

In the end, Harry beats all odds and reaches the trophy, with the chance at perfection. This, however, is where the story takes a dark turn and changes the complexion of the entire series. It is no longer a simple "hero saves the day" tale- it graduated from pure young adult to something more philosophical in context. Harry had depth and range than the character was rarely afforded earlier in the series. He became a fully formed individual, and his friend Ron Weasley (portrayed by Randy Moss and/or Wes Welker) helped him through the fire and flames.

Cedric dies in this book, with Harry at the podium. The ending of Goblet isn't one of hope- it's a message of despair. It's also the introduction of a Voldemort who is not just a character for Harry to overcome, but one who has agency and an appetite for destruction. Harry's friends weren't enough to win the day. This is 2007.

In Order of the Phoenix, Harry is lost. His character is transforming along with the series and is turning from a child into an adult. He's a wreck from the prior book. No one believes him that Voldemort is real, and the most deep-rooted evil incarnated into a character is introduced in Dolores Umbridge.

The characters from Goblet were still around, and were in place to put together another quality year for Dumbledore's Army. All signs pointed to good overcoming evil and Voldemort to be overthrown.

The death of Sirius Black showed the mortality of the main characters and was a second shot to the gut; no one is invincible and everyone can be lost. Harry lost his godfather, the closest thing to a parent he had, and he would have to move forward after the healing process. This is 2008.

In Half Blood Prince, Harry starts to learn more about Voldemort; the endgame is clearly starting to form. Harry develops an obsession to help eliminate Voldemort and looked to be well on his way by the end of the story. In order to eliminate Voldemort, Harry would have to eliminate six Horcruxes. Harry believed he had one in his possession, that he was one step closer to his goal, when Severus Snape killed Dumbledore. This is 2011.

Three straight books closed out with devastation, where Harry was in a position to be at the peak. All of the work was for naught as those closest to him fell when it mattered most. The elimination of Voldemort continued to elude him.

But Harry kept fighting and the end was in sight in Deathly Hallows.

Harry had to eliminate the Horcruxes before he could take down Voldemort.

Peyton Manning is Voldemort. Eli Manning is Voldemort. The drive and hopelessness of a fruitless campaign is Voldemort. The work and effort of a dream within reach, suddenly dashed by a Reche Caldwell drop, by a Helmet Catch, by Bernard Pollard in 2008 (knee), 2009 (Welker), by Mario Manningham, by Jermaine Kearse- these are all Voldemort.

Harry was left for dead as Voldemort marched on Hogwarts, slandering Potter along the way. He abandoned you, Voldemort claimed. He left you deflated.

Fortunately, Voldemort became mortal after Jermaine Kearse caught that pass and the Patriots were able to finally overcome and secure their place in history.

Harry never saved the day on his own, even though he was the true leader on the team. He would never have made it as far as he did without the brains of Belichick, the courage of his defense, or the heart of the Tin Man (wait, wrong story, but this is totally Rob Gronkowski).

He was aided by his friends every step of the way. It doesn't make him any less of a hero. It makes him human figure who was able to transcend into legend.