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Source: NFL Investigating Jets for Tampering with Darrelle Revis

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The Jets are in hot water with the league for tampering.

"Seriously, my hemorrhoids were this big!"
"Seriously, my hemorrhoids were this big!"
Matthew Emmons-USA TODAY Sports

According to several sources, an NFL investigator has been sent to the offices of the New York Jets to look into whether or not the team had prior contact with Darrelle Revis and his representatives to make sure that there was no tampering in advance of the league-mandated shopping period. Yes, tampering has been rampant and has been going on all across the league for years, but the NFL would like to make it known that it is taking this issue very seriously and will be investigating the matter fully. Luckily for us, there are few institutions more competent at handling investigations than the NFL, so we can all expect swift, accurate, transparent, and correct justice here in no time.

But a warning to the Jets and their fanbase: based on my own personal experience with NFL investigations, we should all brace ourselves for a national media scandal of epic proportions. Good luck watching any news outlet that won't be covering TamperGate nonstop for weeks. Everyone will be weighing in with their opinions. Experts from around the world will be brought in to give their expert analysis. Coaches and GMs and players will be paraded in front of the media and flayed alive over their disgusting disregard to the integrity of the game and the sacred rules that represent the beating heart of the NFL. Every move the Jets make and every victory they manage to scrape together will be nothing but fodder for an absolute lambasting by anyone and everyone who may have watched a few minutes of a football game at some point in their lives. Michael Wilbon will go on record demanding that the Jets vacate their 1968 Super Bowl. The Jets will lose their first round draft pick. Jerry Rice will halt the extremely important business of planning a birthday party for his dog to rant and rave about how violating league rules is a savage blow to any real player and team who never once tried to bend the rules in their favor. I don't envy the Jets right now, as there is a chance that they might possibly have broken the rules here, and as we all know, that's good enough for most to assume guilt.

Or, absolutely nothing will happen and the world will forget all about this stuff in a matter of hours. It could go either way, really.