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REPORT: New England Patriots Use Drones to Spy on the World

The nefarious New England Patriots are using drones to monitor the football field.

Kirby Lee-USA TODAY Sports

The New England Patriots are at it again. They are just one month removed from being found absolutely and entirely guilty, maybe, for using science and atmospheric reality to more probably than not affect the interior of a football, and they're already back to scheming.

Bill Belichick has commissioned an RC Plane, more dastardly known as a ballistic war spy drone, to fly above the practice fields to record everything that has happened in play.

He would have gotten away with it, too, if it weren't for the sleuthing of the Steelers network. With Belichick's history of camera usage, and the obvious aeronautical engineering taking place in the locker room (defensive coordinator Matt Patricia and offensive lineman Cameron Fleming both have degrees in Aeronautical Engineering so this is clearly a full team effort), the most obvious conclusion is that the Patriots are likely spying on their opponents.

And it goes deeper. We see that the Cowboys have drones at practices and that the NFL was thinking about using drones to film Inside Training Camp. And we know that Belichick has his sleeper coaches spread all across the country in the college ranks, where the University of North Carolina is using drones, where Southern Methodist is using drones, and UCLA is using drones.

According to an in-depth report from ESPN, Belichick is likely spanning across multiple sports:

The PGA Tour has used drones and is considering using them to take video of all of its courses. Drones have been used to film Formula One races, high school football practices, surfers, snowboarders and other extreme sports. Outside the United States, they've been used to shoot cricket matches in Australia, soccer games in Brazil and snowboarding during the Winter Olympics in Sochi, Russia.

So what is Belichick's plan? What will he be using all of this footage for? It's clear that football is too easy for him as he's started to intentionally handicap his team by not using defensive backs, just to level the playing field with the other franchises.

World domination? I'm not saying, I'm just asking questions.

In the end, we know why the Patriots have suspended Jim McNally. It wasn't because he was harassed at his home, or that he was interrogated four times, three of them without legal counsel, or that he was obviously in a silly situation as a part time employee. It's because Jim "Burt "BIRD" McNally was Belichick's right hand man, the Goose to the Hoodie's Maverick style of leadership.

Drones fly in the sky. So do birds. It's pretty simple. Why would they refer to McNally as "Bird" if he weren't responsible for flying the drones across the country, and maybe even the world?

We've seen how FIFA's Sepp Blatter distanced himself from the ten person who report directly into him, claiming ignorance upon their arrest. Belichick, like any good Mafia Don, has put McNally on the sidelines until everything blows over. Robert Kraft is all to happy to let the public talk about deflated footballs, while the actual crime is just one layer deeper.