Roger Goodell Won't Attend Season Opener

Commissioner Goodell won't be in attendance this Thursday when the New England Patriots host the Pittsburgh Steelers to officially kick off the 2015 NFL season, according to multiple sources.

His decision not to attend, according to Goodell, centers on his belief that "the focus should be on the game on the field and the festivities celebrating the Patriots Super Bowl championship." The fact that he would be booed so hard that the lights would probably shatter and the string of profanity that would come out of the collective mouths of the fans in attendance would likely break the FCC altogether apparently didn't factor into his decision not to show up whatsoever.

I don't know about any of you, but I for one think it's great that Goodell is so focused on making sure we get to just put this all behind us and focus on football again. That he's opting not to be there when the league he presides over officially opens to what I'm sure is going to be record ratings clearly indicates that he has once again put the integrity of the game before his own ego and what will likely happen to him because of what he decided to do to Tommy B this offseason. It's great to see, really, and gives me full confidence that the NFL is in great hands.

I mean it's not like Goodell is going to be drawing out this case for what could easily be another few years by appealing Judge Berman's ruling and taking this nonsense to appellate court or anything; he's the kind of guy who puts his money where his mouth is and doesn't simply spout off a bunch of hot garbage while behaving in a manner that clearly indicates that he has no idea what he's doing. And by not doing his job as commissioner and making himself present when the season starts, he has once again proven why he's the right man to lead the NFL into the future.

So thank you, Roger, for putting the integrity of the game first, as always. I'm sorry that you won't be there to help the Patriots hang their fourth banner and celebrate their complete dominance over the National Football League, but don't worry; there will be plenty of chances to interact with Patriots fans down the road. And I can assure you, we'll save the welcome we would have given you this Thursday for a later date.