It's the Tuesday before the Wednesday before Thanksgiving, which means that today is the last day when anyone gets any actual work done before ducking out of the office early to get a jump on the madness. Thursday is a holiday, and only the most draconian of bosses make their employees work on the Friday after, so the vast, vast majority of us are getting ready to kick off a nice long weekend and the official start of the holiday season.
For most, odds are that tomorrow evening will find you in one of three places, depending on where you are at this stage in your life:
- Out at a local bar, having the same conversation over and over again with people you aren't all that excited to see, wondering why the hell you decided to go out at all and worried about the approximately 75 spot checks and speed traps that the cops have planted all over your hometown;
- At home doing some prep work for the big feast, putting finishing touches on pies or pre-mashing potatoes, wondering why the hell you decided to offer to host this year and swearing on all things Tebow that this will be the last Thanksgiving dinner you have at your house;
- Stuck in maddening traffic as you crawl slowly along the highways, byways, and back roads that take you to wherever you call home, wondering why the hell you waited to leave until now and wishing you hadn't had that third cup of coffee and bran muffin before you took off.
None of those three options are overly fun, but fear not; they're all worth it. For Thanksgiving is a glorious day indeed, and you will all be rewarded for your awkward socializing, chaotic kitchen, or numb rump with a delicious meal, a delicious nap, and a delicious slate of NFL games. It wouldn't truly be Thanksgiving without all of the above.
And speaking of numb rumps...
All of that other stuff is great, but it wouldn't truly, TRULY be Thanksgiving around these parts without giving a not-so-subtle nod to one of the greatest holiday moments in New England Patriots history: The Buttfumble. Today marks the official anniversary of The Buttfumble - November 22nd, 2012 - and it's hard to believe that four whole years have passed since that hasstoric game took place. I initially considered waiting until tomorrow, or perhaps even Thursday morning, to post this article, as The Buttfumble, much like Thanksgiving itself, should be celebrated at the appropriate time as opposed to a concrete date, but since we're close enough to Thanksgiving and I completely mailed it in for the week at 9:30 on Monday morning, I figured that the actual anniversary can count this year as well.
I don't need to get into the specifics of that game, or that play, as we've all seen it hundreds of times by now and remember all too well watching an absolute smackdown on national television. We know what went down and how amazing it all was. Instead, I invite you all to take a moment and, while reflecting on all of the other great things you're thankful for in your life, remember the simple joy of watching a subpar Jets quarterback collide with another man's ass.
Thank you, Mark Sanchez. Thank you, Brandon Moore. Thank you, Steve Gregory. May all of your days be merry and bright.
Just in case you can't get enough Buttfumble, here's a link to my tribute to it as the Top Patriots Moment of 2012, complete with highlights and other fun Buttfumble-related tidbits. Consider it your early Christmas present to yourself.
Happy Thanksgiving, everyone!