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Pats Pulpit’s election special: The All-Presidents team

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Many led their team into actual battle, which presidents would lead them onto a football field?

As some of you might have noticed, today is election day in the United States. Tomorrow, the country will have a newly elected president, a newly elected House, partially newly-elected Senate and some new Governors. That being said, Pats Pulpit is not a political website, so we will not comment on any of those (and neither should you per our community guidelines).

However, what we are is a website having its finger on the pulse of the time. After all, there is a reason we post the annual tradition better known as the "Buttfumble" once a year. Which is also the reason why today’s election offers us the chance to take a look back at past presidents to answer the question sure to be on everyone’s mind: How would a football team with Washington and Lincoln, Roosevelt and Grant look like?

Let’s try to answer it.

Offense

Quarterback: #16 Abraham Lincoln

At 6’4, the 16th president has the ideal height to play quarterback for the All-Presidents team. Known for his smarts and leadership skills, he brings a lot of experience to the table, whether it is defeating opponents on or off the field.

Running back: #40 Ronald Reagan

A bigger running back at 6’1, Reagan knows how to sell a play-fake better than any other President. A durable player, he has shown an ability to run through defensive lines even though they might look like impenetrable iron curtains.

Wide receiver: #3 Thomas Jefferson

The 6’2 Jefferson has the size of a deep threat and has made use of it over his career: He has gained more yardage than any other President and has established himself as a possession receiver. He also has the smarts to draft an excellent game plan if need be.

Wide receiver: #34 Dwight D. Eisenhower

What the 5’10 former running back lacks in size, he makes up with experience and a proven ability of getting behind a defense. He has shown that he is a tough player to slow down no matter the opponent, which also makes him an option on kick returns.

Wide receiver: #4 James Madison

Madison, who at 5’4 is a small target, has shown that he can be a productive and versatile player, having worked as President, Secretary of State and Representative. He knows how to work a game plan and display chemistry with teammates.

Tight end: #42 Bill Clinton

A sturdy player at 6’2, 235 lbs, Clinton is tough to bring down after initial contact. Despite some hits he had to take later in his career, he displays durability and consequently received multiple accolades for his on-field play.

Left offensive tackle: #36 Lyndon B. Johnson

Before becoming president, Johnson, among other things, served as Senate Majority Whip displaying some of the strength and resolve needed to protect his quarterback’s blindside. At 6’3, he also has solid length for the position.

Left offensive guard: #44 Barack Obama

At 6’1, 180 lbs the 44th President is a little undersized for the position. However, over the course of his eight year in office has shown an ability to create forward push and give the offense hope when needed.

Center: #38 Gerald Ford

He played center, linebacker and long snapper at the University of Michigan, winning two national titles with the Wolverines. A hard-nosed player that knows how to take advantage of opportunities.

Right offensive guard: #20 Chester A. Arthur

Originally a depth option, Arthur did his job when thrown into the starting lineup. With a 6’2, 240 lbs frame, he offers ideal size and has shown the right amount of strength for an offensive guard. His playoff beard is also on point.

Right offensive tackle: #7 Andrew Jackson

At 6’1 "Old Hickory" brings solid size for an offensive tackle to the table. He also has a lot of experience of successfully fighting in the trenches. Unfortunately, he might also draw the occasional unsportsmanlike conduct penalty.

Defense

Defensive end: #1 George Washington

The defensive signal caller knows how to work in the trenches, lead his troops and keep the opposing offense in check. At 6’2 he also has the ideal height to put pressure on whoever lines up across him. An All-Pro, through and through.

Defensive tackle: #27 William Howard Taft

He is rather short at 5’11, but at 330 lbs has the bulk to be the anchor of the defensive line. Over the course of his career, the Yale product has also displayed tremendous versatility playing multiple positions from President to Chief Justice to Secretary of War.

Defensive tackle: #22 Grover Cleveland

Just like Taft, Cleveland is a short but bulky player; standing at 5’11, 275 lbs. While his career started inconsistent, Cleveland bounced back and displayed some toughness at the point of attack.

Defensive end: #18 Ulysses S. Grant

A small player for his position at 5’8, Grant has shown that he can overcome his shorter stature and be competitive, successful and strategically sound at the point of attack. His also brings vast experience to the table.

Linebacker: #33 Harry S. Truman

Truman has proven himself a hard-hitting player over the course of his career despite being slightly undersized at 5’9. He has had a longer career than originally anticipated after the backup was thrust into the starting role.

Linebacker: #25 Theodore Roosevelt

A tough, blue collar player, the 5’10 Roosevelt has shown that he does not shy away from contact over the course of his long career. As versatile defender, he has earned himself a spot on the literal "Mount Rushmore".

Linebacker: #41 George H. W. Bush

At 6’2, Bush is the tallest of the linebacker corps, bringing ideal height to the table. He also has shown the ability to cover a lot of ground as a defender, not shying away from initiating contact all over the field.

Cornerback: #35 John F. Kennedy

One of the few presidents with actual football experience, Kennedy offers good size (6'0) and communication skills for a spot in the secondary. This and not being afraid to challenge another team's weapons, a skill required by shutdown corners.

Cornerback: #39 Jimmy Carter

Despite a relatively short career, the 5'9 Carter has experienced many shutdown performances. Not all of them were spotless but it was enough to show the Naval Academy project's ability when it comes to taking on those who line up across from him.

Strong safety: #28 Woodrow Wilson

A durable player, Wilson has displayed a strong standing and excellent moving abilities over the course of his career. At 5’11, the Princeton product also has the perfect height to not only work off the line of scrimmage but closer to the action as well.

Free safety: #2 John Adams

Over the course of his career, the 5’7 defender has shown that he knows how to act when asked to be the last line of defense. A smart and experienced player, Adams is a leader on and off the field.

Special teams

Kicker: #11 James K. Polk

While he retired early in his career, the former North Carolina standout has displayed an ability to successfully kick off. Go no further than the Naval Academy or the Mexican-American War.

Long snapper: #38 Gerald Ford

A part-time long snapper at the University of Michigan, a full-time snapper at the All-Presidents squad.

Punter: #37 Richard Nixon

No explanation necessary.

Head coach

Franklin D. Roosevelt

When a sound game plan needs to be crafted, when the troops need to be rallied or when adversity needs to be faced, coach Roosevelt has done his job. His experienced is unmatched as is his success.