Fair warning: NSFW.
If you live in Massachusetts and had the day off on Monday for Patriots Day, then congratulations, you lucky duck. If you don’t, and you’re like us and spent most of Monday trying to avoid actual work or going to class, you probably still saw one of the most excellent signs at the marathon:
this guy is at the #BostonMarathon right now motivating the runners. i love boston. pic.twitter.com/jOT6kmRJhK
— abdul (@Advil) April 17, 2017
What else do you need? At that point, you could probably finish the marathon while setting a PR and then cross the finish line, karate chop through a pile of bricks, broad jump over a pit of alligators, and beat Jamie Collins’ record for consecutive backflips before brushing your shoulders off and grabbing a cool Gatorade.
And that’s where ESPN learns that Boston neither forgives nor forgets.
ESPN’s assignment desk, who pretty much exists only to ask people on Twitter if they can use their tweets for #content, tried to ask Abdul if they could use it and credit him for it, and that’s when Abdul unleashed an inferno of holy hellfire on the World Wide Leader in DeflateGate Coverage™:
@Advil Hello. May ESPN have permission to use this photo on all platforms with a courtesy?
— ESPNAssignmentDesk (@ESPNAssignDesk) April 17, 2017
@ESPNAssignDesk after the witch hunt ESPN led against tom brady? absolutely the fuck not. in fact block me right now. go fuck yourselves.
— abdul (@Advil) April 17, 2017
Stop the fight! Stop the fight! It’s over!!
I guess the old saying is true, revenge is best served on a sunny day celebrating one of the country’s most beloved sports traditions and honoring our ancestors that put it all on the line for freedom from oppression. Or something like that.