Isaac Bruce carries on proud Rams tradition of Patriots conspiracy theories

Back in the day, my dear, sweet mother, who stands 10 inches shorter than Danny Playoff Amendola, taught me and my brothers to always be respectful to others, even if you disagree with them.

HOWEVAH...

As Bobby Boucher and Coach Kline taught us all those years ago in south-central Louisiana, “What Mama don’t know...won’t hurt her”.

This never-ending rumor that the Patriots videotaped the St. Louis Rams’ walkthrough before the Super Bowl has been around for so long, it’s been in the league even longer than James Harrison, and thanks to guys like Marshall Faulk and Kurt Warner bringing it up any time someone asks them about that game, the Patriots, or how they like their steak cooked, it sure looks like it’s not going away anytime soon.

Add All-Pro wide receiver and plant-based-diet-enthusiast Isaac Bruce to the list of Greatest Show on Turf alumni that are out there swearing up and down that New England taped them, because REASONS:

Now, I know what you’re thinking: PMT is a comedy show about sports, dude, take a chill pill, make like Frozen, and let it go.

To which I say: Nah.

Defending the wall. It’s a full-time job.

Here’s how the conversation goes in PMT’s “Off the Record” segment (which, like almost everything else on the show, is several layers of parody):

PFT Commenter (host): “Did the Patriots film your walkthrough at the Super Bowl?”

Big Cat (host): “Off the record...”

Isaac Bruce: “Off the record, ooooh, I’ll say yes.”

Big Cat: “Ok! Ok.”

Isaac Bruce: “And I think it gave them an edge as well. I mean, you know, we were really rolling that year, and no one covered us. It’s funny, TMZ never came out with that tape, you never saw that tape!”

Big Cat: “Yeah, Roger Goodell burned it! Did you notice anything in the game where they kind of, the defense knew what you were running before you ran it?”

Isaac Bruce: “I saw that, and here’s another thing that I saw. You know, we played them earlier in Foxboro that year, and we beat them. And I think two weeks, maybe two or three weeks before we end up playing them in the Super Bowl, they hired, or they brought in, the great cornerback, what’s my guy from Florida State...”

(the guys all figure out he’s talking about Terrell Buckley)

Isaac Bruce: “They bring him in, and you know what happens when a guy really is not comfortable, they grab and hold, but he was beating us to spots! He was beating us to spots, and he hadn’t been there that long, and he was on the street, so, you know, the reason he was on the street, but he came in, and he was beating us to spots, and he was making plays that game, so, something was going on.”

To their credit, Hank the producer jumps right in after that and goes “Yeah, Belichick never picks guys up off the street and makes them play good anymore”.

One tiny problem: the report this all came from the Boston Herald back in 2008 got retracted less than a month after it came out. Here’s the Herald’s apology for reporting something based on someone who was apparently as trustworthy as Kaa the snake in the Jungle Book:

“On Feb 2, 2008, the Boston Herald reported that a member of the New England Patriots’ video staff taped the St. Louis Rams’ walkthrough on the day before Super Bowl XXXVI. While the Boston Herald based its Feb 2., 2008, report on sources it believed to be credible, we now know that this report was false, and that no tape of the walkthrough ever existed.”

It made for a great-looking Herald cover, though, so there’s always that!

Whatever gets you through the day, I guess.

On the other hand, now that you all know better, we’re trusting on you to go out to your Super Bowl parties and local watering holes, and preach the gospel.

Sorry for being mean, mom. :)