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Holiday poetry: Rob Gronkowski explains ‘How the Grinch Won Six Rings’

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Related: Get ready for Christmas with the Pats Pulpit Holiday Gift Guide

Every bro up in Foxborough likes partying a lot,
but the Grinch who coached in Foxborough did not.

The Grinch hated partying during the football season.
You don’t need to ask why, you know the reason.

It had to be because we partied through the night,
and then the next day, we get nothing right.

The Grinch would get so mad, it almost caused a riot,
he made us stop partying and start Tom’s TB12 diet.

My teammates and I were so iffy to say the least,
even hungover, we still win the AFC East.

The Grinch reminded us that nobody remembers division winners.
No drinking through the playoffs, not even wine with our dinners.

Then something magical happened in the postseason each year
the Grinch was right all along. The final scores made that clear.

We beat the entire AFC, we’d be Super Bowl bound.
The Grinch would say, ‘If you win this one, I’ll buy the first round!

We went out and won, but that wasn’t a surprise.
The Grinch was so happy, his hoodie... I mean, heart doubled in size.

I showed the Grinch how to rage, since I know those type of things.
Thus concludes a tale of a how the Grinch won six rings.

Merry Christmas, friends, from all of us here at Pats Pulpit!