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Patriots confirm they will NOT wear 90’s throwback jerseys this season

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:(

Dolphins V Patriots

You know how these things start. One guy tells another guy something, and he tells two friends, and they tell two friends, and they tell their friends, and so on, and so on, and so on...

....which is exactly what happened on Tuesday night when us night owls were busy doing anything but going to bed at a reasonable hour.

Points 1A/1B, in that order:

1A) Yes, taking this tweet seriously violates every single rule of “don’t get bamboozled on the Internet”.

1B) When you grew up in a certain era the mere mention of the Pats royal blue uniforms triggers the same involuntary chemical reaction in your brain that kicks in when you hear the intro to Fresh Prince of Bel-Air or Gin & Juice or California Love. It’s go time. It’s science.

Naturally, we all got excited in that “we’re almost certainly getting punked here but a man/woman can dream, right?”

Unfortunately, while the Pro Shop is going to be selling 5 different 90s jerseys this season (bet you can guess all 5 in the time it took Brady to run a 40), they also confirmed that the rumor was, predictably, either a troll job or a flat-out “whoopsies!”.

The ever-reliable Mike Reiss also confirmed that this year would unfortunately remain throwback-less:

Son of a....just like when we all thought we would get a snow day and you’re sitting there watching the ticker at the bottom of the TV screen like “Closed, closed, closed, 90 minute delay, closed....hey wait a minute, did they skip my school?!?”

Really, until the NFL changes their rules about helmets matching uniform colors, the Patriots wearing throwbacks is dead on arrival. So for now, and at least till next year, it exists...