clock menu more-arrow no yes

Filed under:

Who is more generic, Bill Belichick or SB Nation’s new article-reading robot?

Related: Bill Belichick won’t allow the Patriots to take the 2-7 Texans lightly: ‘This is a hard team to defend’

Wild Card Round - Tennessee Titans v New England Patriots Photo by Adam Glanzman/Getty Images

Between the Coronavirus pandemic, questions about the concept of democracy, and Tom Brady leaving the New England Patriots, it has been a pretty rough year so far. Naturally, we therefore need to take advantage of every chance we can get to have some fun and lighten the mood a bit in the Year of our Lord 2020.

Enter SB Nation’s new audio tool.

The recently implemented feature is actually pretty neat. It does not only let you listen to our articles in case you’re too lazy busy to read them, it also increases accessibly at Pats Pulpit. We are very much in favor of that, so this tool is very much a welcome one. Just go to the top of the article right between the author byline and the header image, wait for the little button to appear, and click to start the tape.

Next up, a rather generic male voice will read to you about pro football. Generic male voices are nothing new to Patriots fans, though, given that the team’s head coach is the embodiment of generic: Bill Belichick is the greatest coach to ever grace the gridiron, but he has a certain monotony when speaking about the game — especially during his press conferences.

This got us thinking: Who is more generic, Bill Belichick or SB Nation’s article-reading robot?

To find out who wins the battle, let’s start with the Patriots’ head coach and a press conference from earlier this week. Belichick was asked about quarterback Cam Newton’s leadership style, and here is his answer courtesy of Pats Pulpit’s own Ryan Spagnoli:

Now, let’s pull up the transcript to let the robot do its work (if you want to listen only to this part and not the introduction above, just skip to around 1:12 on the audio track). Without further ado, let’s find out how SB Nation’s tool is doing compared to Belichick:

Cam’s got a good leadership style. He has a good personality. He gets along with everybody, works with everybody. I think everybody feels a positive connection to him. He knows who they are and cares about them and wants to fit in as a member of the team, just like everybody else does. I think we all appreciate and respect that. So, he demands a lot of himself, which is a good leadership trait, and he’s very supportive of his teammates, which is another good leadership trait. So, I think he’s done a good job, especially considering that it’s a new team and he doesn’t have the background that some other players, that a lot of us have in this organization. But, he kind of brings a different, kind of a fresher maybe energy or perspective to the things that I think we all can appreciate that, as well. So, I think it’s really worked out in a positive way from that standpoint. I’m sure he’s learned some things about our organization and learned some things from us, and I think we’ve all learned some things from him. You can see why he’s accomplished so much in other – whether it be in Carolina or at Auburn — why he’s been so successful in other places over a long period of time, as well. So, it’s been good.

And, scene.

So, now that you have heard them both, who do you think is the winner of this generic battle? Let us know in the comment section below!