Welcome to what has to be the least productive week on the entire calendar.
I feel like it’s safe to say that, this time last year, a lot of folks were deviating from their usual Thanksgiving plans. Travel was restricted, gatherings were limited, and many of us more or less settled for a to-go turkey roll from a local diner. Hopefully this year, for those who missed out in 2020, resembles a return to the best day of the year in style. May you all be heading somewhere amazing, to celebrate with some amazing people, to eat some amazing food, followed by an amazing nap.
And speaking of amazing, it’s hard to fathom that it has been nine full years, right down to the day, since we all had the joy of witnessing the single worst play in the history of the National Football League.
Much like the holiday itself, The Buttfumble doesn’t have a definitive date we need to attach to it; it has become deeply engrained into the very fabric of this country, something for which we must always give thanks. And although it doesn’t really matter when you decide to celebrate the Buttfumble-versary, just so long as it’s around Thanksgiving, it’s always a nice added bonus to celebrate it on the day it actually happened. November 22nd, 2012, New England Patriots at New York Jets, Vince Wilfork at Brandon Moore, Mark Sanchez at Brandon Moore’s butt, and Steve Gregory at the end zone.
The Buttfumble has become as synonymous with Thanksgiving as post-meal belches and tryptophan, and that I have the privilege of keeping the tradition alive here at Pats Pulpit is most certainly one I don’t take lightly. So as we all play out the clock over the next day and a half and find ourselves oddly enjoying the inevitable traffic that comes with this year’s holiday travel, feel free to waste some time by watching The Buttfumble in its entirety, sandwiched in between two other Patriots scores in the span of 52 seconds like Mark Sanchez’s face mask in between Brandon Moore’s ample cheeks.
And since it’s more important than ever to have a strong immune system by being healthy and getting enough exercise: the average American consumes 3,000 calories on Thanksgiving Day. The average American also burns up to 40 calories with just 15 minutes of laughter. So just watch this clip about 100 times and you should avoid that extra holiday pudge with no problems.
I already have a few ideas in mind for the 10th Anniversary ButtFumble Hullabaloo next year... but I don’t want to get too far ahead of myself. I’m still enjoying how fresh in my mind this play is even nine years after the fact, so I’m going to milk this one for all it’s worth.
Happy Thanksgiving, everyone.
And a most joyous Buttfumble to you all.