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Tom Brady May Outlive the NFL

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Scientists show that Tom Brady may live longer than the NFL.

NFL: Super Bowl LI-New England Patriots vs Atlanta Falcons Mark J. Rebilas-USA TODAY Sports

Tom Brady has accumulated many honors during his time in the NFL. Some are in the “Oh, that’s nice” vein (spoken in your Mom’s voice as she is preparing dinner and watching TV at the same time): Sports Illustrated Sportsman of the Year in 2005, Associated Press’ Male Athlete of the Year in 2007, NFL Comeback Player of the Year in 2009. Some are rather attention grabbing: 5 time Super Bowl Champion, and 4 time Super Bowl MVP. Now, he has a cockroach named after him.

Meet Tom Brady:

The Indestructible Tom Brady
Roger Williams Park Zoo & Carousel Village

Apparently the Roger Williams Park Zoo & Carousel Village made a “friendly” Super Bowl wager with Zoo Atlanta, and the loser would name a “baby animal” after the winning quarterback. Since they figured the loser might not feel particularly happy after the game, they agreed the “baby animal” would be a Madagascar hissing cockroach. How, um, fun.

On their Facebook page, the Roger Williams Park Zoo & Carousel Village states: “Madagascar hissing cockroaches are a valuable part of the ecosystem and play an important role in nutrient recycling. So really, having one named after you is an honor!”

That’s some serious spin right there.

In the comments, Randi Miller pointed out: “Cockroaches have been around forever and are basically indestructible so how is it bad he had one named after him?”

Wait a minute! Let’s take a look at these cockroach characteristics:

  • Been around forever.
  • Basically indestructible.
  • Eats things that most people wouldn’t.
  • Really gets moving at night when the bright lights come on.
  • Strikes fear into the squeamish.
  • Roger Goodell can try to step on one and it’ll keep coming back.

That’s Tom Brady to a T. Also as scientists have pointed out again and again once human life is over, the cockroach will still be going strong. That means that its possible that Tom Brady, the cockroach, may live longer than the NFL which, like Soylent Green, is composed almost entirely of people. Tom Brady, the G.O.A.T., looks like he’s willing to give him a run for his money.

When you’re digging into an article like this you see things like a cockroach can live a week without its head, and then remember the Patriots lived through 4 games without Tom Brady. You just can’t make this stuff up.