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New England Patriots Satire

Taking a deep dive into the real story behind Tom Brady’s decision for 2020

Let’s dig into this, shall we?

Patriots, your dynasty is officially dead

It’s over, homers. R.I.P.

Tom Brady opts out of contract with Patriots, will sign with Golden State Warriors

The Golden State Warriors continue to stack their roster with superstar athletes.

I’m now convinced all of our readers are Bill Belichick on burner accounts

I see you, Bill.

WATCH: Fitzy looks for the next generation of Patriots receivers

They’ll grow up and Brady will still be winning Super Bowls.

Patriots sign James Harrison to bolster the team’s pass rush

The Patriots are adding some veteran help.

Did Bill Belichick make a mistake in trading Jimmy Garoppolo and keeping Tom Brady?

Let’s see what the head coach has to say about that.

Patriots, PLEASE make this footrace with Brandin Cooks happen

Brandin Cooks and Patriots media joked around this week about a footrace to find out who the fastest Patriot is. This would be amazing and must happen.

How to overanalyze Patriots RFA CB Malcolm Butler’s latest Instagram post

Let’s dig deeper, and then go even further.

Tom Brady May Outlive the NFL

Scientists show that Tom Brady may live longer than the NFL.

A hater's guide to the Atlanta Falcons

Want to hate the Atlanta Falcons before they play against the Patriots in the Super Bowl, but don't know where to start? Here's our helpful guide!

After crushing Steelers, has Patriots defense silenced critics?

The Patriots were supposed to be challenged by the Steelers offense. That didn’t happen.

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Would you stay at The Grand Belichick Hotel?

07, 14 Patriots open letter to Cavaliers, Warriors

The Patriots know exactly how both sides of the NBA finals feel today!

Why is RB Arian Foster in Boston?

Is the free agent running back signing with the Patriots, or are there other reasons for his appearance?

Revisiting Jonathan Cooper's Scouting Report

Free Agency Almost Over, Patriots Have Done Nothing

Well, it was a good run while it lasted.

The Laughable Escalation of Tom Brady's Misdeeds

The NFL continues to change the allegations against Brady with each succeeding court filing.

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Go home! Season's over, folks!

My Night at Haunted Gillette Stadium

It was the night of Halloween and I wanted to go home. Not a creature was stirring, not even a WATCH OUT IT'S A SPOOKY REX RYAN!!

Bill Belichick is Absolutely Darth Sidious

Some high definition camera work shows something...dark...in the Patriots stands.

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Exponent Hired to Find Missing Plane

Featured Fanshot

Inside look at how Tom Brady's phone was destroyed

What Roger Goodell Should Say

With Goodell's verdict on the horizon, here's what he should actually say when issuing down his decision.

A Gronking To Remember, A Major Motion Picture

Now presenting, A Gronking to Remember, the Movie!!

Case of Mondays: Cardinals, Cowboys, and Broncos

It seems that everyone is getting away with being generally terrible, and yet it's only the Patriots in the headlines.

REPORT: Patriots, Drones, and World Domination

The nefarious New England Patriots are using drones to monitor the football field.

QB Controversy: Garoppolo Slams Brady's Diet

**SATIRE** There seems to be a storm brewing in New England!

Patriots Draftnik Unsure of First Round Mock Draft

In the most unheralded aspect of the DeflateGate saga, the little people are forgotten.

Faux Wells Report Does Or Does Not Implicate Pats

We can't stress enough that this is satire. This isn't the real Wells Report. But read it because it's hilarious.

New NFL Rule Deems Patriots Victories Illegal

A new league rule passed unanimously today which has made winning illegal for the New England Patriots.

The Best and Worst Patriots Valentines

Roses are red, violets are blue, be ready for a pay cut, I hate you I hate you

David Letterman Devoid of Journalistic Integrity

The Patriots head coach sneaks away from yet another punchless question and answer session. (satire)

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ADBU Charges NFL With Discrimination

Tom Brady Has Been Exposed as a Fraud

It took a long time, but Ray Lewis has finally gotten to the bottom of why Tom Brady is so good.